It’s complicated

rope-219716_640Ezra 10:44: All these had married foreign women, and some of the women had even borne children.

Do you think the issue you are involved is complicated? Are you traumatised by your serial wrong decisions or a recurrent sin from which you seem to not be able to extricate yourself? Are you reaping the fruits from a bad decision in your past, maybe you are even in prison or your wife has deserted you, or your children taken away from you, because of your complicated lifestyle?

Maybe you are from a broken home and you can feel to your bones that the decisions your parent made to part from each other have resulted in you being tied up emotionally. Or you have faced a series of disappointment from others, which has left you bitter, and all tangled up within.

Judah found himself in a complicated situation (Genesis 38). He got a wife for his first son, but the son died mysteriously because of his wickedness, and the second son also died because of his wickedness.  The wickedness of the second son was based on his refusal to sire a child in the name of his late brother and God struck him. There was a third son who was too young to marry the woman in question at the time of the death of the second son. But after the boy grew up, Judah declined to have him married to the woman, who was now feeling neglected.

The woman then pretended to be an harlot, and was able to get Judah to sleep with her (the wife of his dead sons) and she became pregnant with twins. Now, that’s complicated!

Are you entangled in associations and relationships that you want to get out from but you can’t? Are you enmeshed in divorce issues, business issues that seems there is no way you can find your way out; in family or church issues that will not go away anytime soon?

There is something you can do, to make the changes needed to arrest the move towards more complication. When Judah realised that the woman pregnant for him was his daughter-in-law, he never again make a complicated situation more complicated by continuing to frolic with her.

He did not continue to relate with her as a wife, though he got her pregnant. As a lesson, getting pregnant for someone out of wedlock (or getting somebody pregnant) is not a confirmation that you should marry the person. Stopping the relationship right then may be a way to stop a complicated situation from degenerating further.

Judah refused to go further on that road. There are some complications that still remained with him afterwards, he can’t undo what happened, but did what he can to arrest the situation.

No matter how complicated things are there is something you can do or something you can stop doing to make the situation less complicated. There is a change you can make to the pattern of your life that can immediately arrest the cycle of pain, or at least move you to the path of recovery.

You can walk away from an abusive relationship so that you can begin to discover yourself and be a proper human being. You can begin to express your opinion and not allow yourself to be abused again.

David got himself involved in a complicated situation; He seduced the wife of Uriah, got her pregnant and killed her husband to hide that fact and then married the woman (2Samuel 11:1-12:13). Pretty complicated you would say.

When confronted with his sins, he stated un-complicating the situation but asking God for forgiveness. There is nothing that complicates one’s life like sin in any form. And for that you need to take the path of repentance.

Why not let go the anger in you that is complicating your life and allow God to help you see things from his own perspective.  That will give you a fresh uncomplicated perspective on things. When you stop further involvement in things that complicates your life, with people and activities that complicates your life, you can now start to get on God’s uncomplicated wavelength.

Jesus used a phrase to describe the complicated lifestyle. He said it is being heavy laden and under a burden and having a stressful life (Matthew 11:28-30). As a solution he said we should come to him and learn from him because he is humble and lowly in heart. Humility is the path to an uncomplicated life. You are not struggling with anybody for attention or glory.

Those who want to be rich must be ready to have a complicated life. Paul said that those who will be rich in this world will pierce themselves with many sorrows (1Timothy 6:6-10); driven by greed they can get entangled in numerous court cases.

He advised that godliness with contentment is great gain; it makes you be valuable in God’s scheme of things, flexible in his hands. But many falsely think that money is what gives them real value. You don’t need to complicate your life with inordinate pursuit of wealth. Paul said people should live a quite life (1Thessalonians 4:11), minding their own business and not be busybodies in other people’s matters.

Jesus’ life was not complicated. He was focused on the will of God, Paul’s life was not complicated, he said: this one thing I do… (Philippians 3:10). He is not involved in too many things. You can complicate your life by lack of willingness to fully break from the past, or not knowing how to say: “no.”

When you sleep and wake up embrace the opportunity that the new day presents, and allow the regret of what happened, or did not happen, yesterday squeeze out the life in today. Also, don’t complicate today with tomorrow’s issues. Jesus said: don’t worry about tomorrow, sufficient for the day is its problems (Matthew 6:25-34).

Carrying un-forgiveness is a sure way to complicate your life, and carryover anger will also do that. When we recognise that forgiveness is a choice, we can come to God to help us make that choice, in view of the greatness of the mercy of God we have received in forgiveness of our sin and the guarantee of heaven that we have (Matthew 18:21-35). Let others also have guaranteed forgiveness from us, since we are the grace as sons of God.

The bible says that we should beware lest there be a root of bitterness in us causing defilement. Bitterness is festering anger and un-forgiveness because of a past hurts.

We need to allow God to help us deal with our angers and avoid things that trigger them. The bible says that anger lies in the bosom of fools (Ecclesiastes 7:9). Anger and un-forgiveness, bitterness, envy jealously, the works of the flesh, complicates our emotions (Galatians 5). But the fruits of the Holy Spirit love, peace, joy, kindness, things that manifest in our life as children of God, are reflective of an uncomplicated life; a life that is about walking in the Spirit and not fulfilling the lusts of the flesh, a life in which we are yoked with Christ in the work of the kingdom. Striving to obey the law will also complicate your life in this age of grace (2Corinthians 11:3, Galatians 2:14).

The bible warned against being unequally yoked with unbelievers (2Corinthians 6:14-18). Why should you unnecessary complicate you life by marrying an unbeliever (a non-Christian or a nominal one ), or choosing to be a close associate of those who do now bow to God the father of our Lord Jesus Christ, those who don’t share your core values a Christian? You think those things do not matter? They do. Not being unequally yoked with unbelievers helps us to live uncomplicated lives. The writer of the book of Hebrews says we should lay aside every weight and sin which hinders us so that we may run the race set before us (Hebrews 12:1-2).

Cares and worry serve to complicate your life. Jesus said: if by worrying you cannot increase your height, or achieve any other thing (except turn your black hairs to gray); why do it? To un-complicate our life, Peter said we should learn to cast our cares upon God, recognising that he cares for us (1Peter 5:5-8).

In the parable of the sower, the heart is the ground on which the seeds are sown, the thorns on the ground complicate things for the seed so that it does not bear fruit (Mark 4:1-20), and that life is not productive. The thorns are called the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches.

Why not choose a simple life today, having simple desires and simple ambitions. Jeremiah told Baruch: don’t seek high things for yourself (Jeremiah 45:5). In order words, acquisitions will complicate your life (except the acquisition is for the purpose of the kingdom of God). It is vanity upon vanity (Ecclesiastes 2:11), emptiness multiplied by nothingness, futility hugging futility.


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